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  • Writer's pictureJeff Eaker

Subterranean Homesick Advertising Blues

Johnny’s at the agency

Underpaid outrageously

I’m on my last chance

Scrapin’ by on freelance

The man in the Hathaway shirt

With an eyepatch

Laid off the whole batch

Now he’s got a bad itch and no one left to scratch.

Look out folks

The whole thing is a joke

God knows why

But you give your best try

You better come up with a catchphrase

Better please all your bosses

They don’t like losses

A bunch of albatrosses

Demand your dedication

Despite the double-crosses.

Maggie’s workin’ on the deck

Gatherin’ the assets

Gripin’ that the due date

Moved up and now it’s late

The work got watered down

ECD’s a total clown

Everybody in town

Says he needs a beatdown.

Look out kid

Don’t matter what you did

You’re workin’ every weekend

Chasin’ every loose end

Say goodbye to your boyfriend

Quiet quittin’ ain’t a new trend

Just a different kind of phone-it-in

Logos, bogos, everybody knows

You don’t need a fireman

To tell ya' that you're gettin' hosed.

Get high, get low

Get meds so you don’t blow

Take a pill, try to chill

Watch career go downhill

Try hard, get scarred

Don’t fret, don’t wail

Get stale, derail

Work on pharma if you fail.

Look out guys

I ain’t tellin’ no lies

The doubters, screamers

Shoulders back shouters

The coffee ain’t got creamer

The client is a pouter

Voices gettin’ louder

Budgets get leaner

Don’t forget to pay the proofreader.

Ah get hired, get fired

Grow a beard, be weird, get jeered

Get sold, win gold

Do what you’re told

Please her, please him, kiss ass

Suck up, fly first-class

Twenty years of workin’

And you get laid off en masse.

Look out fearless girl

It’s you against the world

Better update your resume

Rumor says it’s any day

Doesn’t matter any way

They give ladies half the pay

The people down in HR

Don’t even know who you are

And the ads don’t work

‘Cause the misfits got the pink slips.

Thanks for reading. And thanks to our sponsor Partners in Crime, LLC. I'll see you again real soon.

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