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Little Bunny and Big Bear
Little Bunny wakes up in the forest all alone. He looks around for the other bunnies, but no one is there. This makes Little Bunny...
May 22, 20236 min read


The Perk that Got Away
Advertising agencies love to brag about their benefits packages. At least they used to. I’ve been steadily freelancing for the last four...
May 8, 20235 min read


On a Dark Desert Highway
Jesse wanders. Jesse wanders because he worries. Jesse wonders why he worries while he wanders. Up ahead in the distance I saw a...
Apr 3, 20237 min read


Everything Will Be Fine. (A Horrible Mistake)
Sitting on a park bench Eyeing little girls with bad intent. Snot's running down his nose Greasy fingers, smearing shabby clothes. Drying...
Mar 20, 20233 min read


Just the Tip
Table saws cause about 30,000 injuries per year in the U.S. alone. Last summer I got to be one of them. Admittedly, I was doing something...
Mar 3, 20236 min read


This is Your Brain on Chat GPT
When properly formulated by an experienced and reliable chemist, LSD is an interesting drug. I tried it three times in college, but it...
Feb 24, 20235 min read


I Need a New Metric.
There is a man. A certain man. And for the poor you may be sure That he’ll do all he can! Who is this one? This fav’rite son? Just by his...
Feb 22, 20235 min read


Early Indicators on This Year’s Advertising Awards Season.
Everyone knows that the Nashville Addy Awards are the Iowa caucuses of the advertising awards season. The importance of this show is...
Feb 16, 20234 min read


Kinko's Tacos Mister Robotos
I owe Styx an apology. A few posts back I was talking about Kanye West hating on the Jews. I said being hated by Kanye West is like being...
Feb 10, 20236 min read


Subterranean Homesick Advertising Blues
Johnny’s at the agency Underpaid outrageously I’m on my last chance Scrapin’ by on freelance The man in the Hathaway shirt With an...
Jan 27, 20232 min read


The Giving Tree Pt. 2 "The Forest Strikes Back."
VISUAL: WE OPEN IN THE COLD GREY STILLNESS OF A FOREBODING FOREST AS THE FIRST RAYS OF LIGHT ATTEMPT TO PENETRATE THE MISTY MORNING FOG...
Jan 19, 20235 min read


How to Make a Board
When you google how to make a board you get a bunch of Pinterest stuff. Keep going and you get some great ideas on how to make your own...
Jan 5, 20238 min read


And So, This is Christmas.
People who know that I’m Jewish sometimes ask me what I do at Christmas. I tell them, "I celebrate Christmas." I don’t go to church. I...
Dec 24, 20223 min read


Polka Makes It Better
He was a failure, as a sailor. Every ship he ever sailed on sunk. He was a flop, as a cop. Because he showed up for every shift drunk. He...
Dec 13, 20224 min read


I'll Give It One More Day
In the clearing stands a boxer And a fighter by his trade And he carries the reminders Of every glove that laid him down And cut him ‘til...
Oct 17, 20227 min read


If I Only Had a Brain
I could bill so many hours Sitting in their ivory towers, Sipping coffee or just chatting with Elaine; They’d pay me just to show up And...
Oct 10, 20221 min read


Ode to Unfortunate Truth
Think big. Think fast. Think outside the box. Even though you live in a box and you work in a box, on a box, at a job that you drove to...
Sep 29, 20223 min read


Kingdom of Failure Gets the Last Word on Cameron Day's New Book
Cameron Day’s second book, Spittin’ Chiclets, is a damn good book. That’s a subjective statement but having read it, at least you can...
Sep 12, 202210 min read


When It Comes to Memories, Worse is Better.
I have a shitty memory. And when I say that I have a shitty memory, I don’t mean that I have trouble remembering things. I mean that I...
Sep 2, 202212 min read


Finding Your Voice
Writers talk a lot about finding their voice. In advertising you don’t really use your voice. Sometimes you use your voice. But in...
Aug 29, 20224 min read
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